My ex-girlfriend secretly gave birth to a child, and now the child is three years old. She wants to get married. What should I do?
My ex-girlfriend secretly gave birth to a child, and now the child is three years old. She wants to get married. What should I do?
Quality Answer:
If you have the means to support the child, you should try to get custody because it's your own child.
Other User Opinions:
You definitely have an obligation. If the child your ex-girlfriend gave birth to is yours, as a father, you have a responsibility to provide for them. The fact that your ex-girlfriend endured the hardships of raising the child on her own for three years out of love speaks to the depth of her feelings for you when she made the decision to have the child. Now that she wants to get married again, it indicates that she has found love once more. As the child's father and someone who once loved her, you should take on the responsibility of being a man and providing for the child. She may have hidden the pregnancy from you, but can you say you have no responsibility? If you had no intention of marrying her, why did you get involved with her before marriage? Being willing to engage in a relationship with her means being prepared to face the consequences of your actions, which is the responsibility of a man.
You should provide for the child. The way this question is asked is quite reprehensible. The last thing women want is to have a child with an irresponsible man. It's not just about deceiving themselves, but it also harms the child, and the genetics may not be great.
The article doesn't specify whose child it is. If it's someone else's, I think you should let her go. If it's your child, you should fight for custody, as the child deserves a happy and complete family.
So, are you currently single or married?
If you are single, and she wants to get married, why not try to win her back and marry her? After all, a girl who was willing to have a child for you, and raised the child alone for three years, shows deep love. The child is already three years old, so bringing them home and building a relationship should be relatively easy, and it will save you a lot of trouble.
If you are already married, this is indeed a complicated situation. Your current wife probably won't be thrilled about taking on the responsibility of your child. Most women have a strong attachment to their families and may not readily accept another woman's child. This could lead to a series of conflicts and potentially damage your current family.
This is a tricky situation, but the child is your own flesh and blood, and you have an obligation and responsibility to provide for them. Your ex-girlfriend hid the pregnancy from you, but that's not an excuse to avoid your responsibilities.
There's also the possibility that your current wife is exceptionally understanding and will accept your child, treating them as her own. That would be the best-case scenario for everyone.
In conclusion, the child must be provided for. Your ex-girlfriend has put in three years of effort and now wants to pursue her happiness. If you are truly a man, you should take up the responsibility. As for the future, it will depend on the specific circumstances. It's best to discuss this with your ex-girlfriend, considering your own situation and what's best for the child. You probably won't find a clear answer here.
I hope the child doesn't suffer as a result.
Another option is to get a paternity test.
If you have evidence that the child is yours, both you and your ex-girlfriend have an obligation to care for and educate the child. If your ex-girlfriend doesn't want to raise the child herself and wants to get married, then you should take over the responsibility of raising the child. Child support should be provided until the child reaches adulthood. Unmarried childbirth is a consequence of your choices, and both parties have a responsibility because the child is innocent.
First, consider getting a paternity test. Your ex-girlfriend seems to be quite secretive, and it's important to confirm the child's parentage.
From a legal standpoint, you certainly have an obligation (subject to paternity confirmation).
However, your question suggests that you may not be prepared to be a father. It's possible that your current circumstances do not allow for you to care for the child.
Furthermore, not being informed about the child for several years (if that's the case) means that there may not be a strong emotional connection between you and the child.
From the child's perspective, at three years old, they may have already understood a few things: 1) their mother abandoned them, 2) their father, who they've never met, is not suitable to be their father. These things can cause significant emotional harm to the child.
My advice would be to find a loving and more suitable family to adopt the child if possible, and to maintain no contact to avoid any further complications.
Quality Answer:
If you have the means to support the child, you should try to get custody because it's your own child.
Other User Opinions:
You definitely have an obligation. If the child your ex-girlfriend gave birth to is yours, as a father, you have a responsibility to provide for them. The fact that your ex-girlfriend endured the hardships of raising the child on her own for three years out of love speaks to the depth of her feelings for you when she made the decision to have the child. Now that she wants to get married again, it indicates that she has found love once more. As the child's father and someone who once loved her, you should take on the responsibility of being a man and providing for the child. She may have hidden the pregnancy from you, but can you say you have no responsibility? If you had no intention of marrying her, why did you get involved with her before marriage? Being willing to engage in a relationship with her means being prepared to face the consequences of your actions, which is the responsibility of a man.
You should provide for the child. The way this question is asked is quite reprehensible. The last thing women want is to have a child with an irresponsible man. It's not just about deceiving themselves, but it also harms the child, and the genetics may not be great.
The article doesn't specify whose child it is. If it's someone else's, I think you should let her go. If it's your child, you should fight for custody, as the child deserves a happy and complete family.
So, are you currently single or married?
If you are single, and she wants to get married, why not try to win her back and marry her? After all, a girl who was willing to have a child for you, and raised the child alone for three years, shows deep love. The child is already three years old, so bringing them home and building a relationship should be relatively easy, and it will save you a lot of trouble.
If you are already married, this is indeed a complicated situation. Your current wife probably won't be thrilled about taking on the responsibility of your child. Most women have a strong attachment to their families and may not readily accept another woman's child. This could lead to a series of conflicts and potentially damage your current family.
This is a tricky situation, but the child is your own flesh and blood, and you have an obligation and responsibility to provide for them. Your ex-girlfriend hid the pregnancy from you, but that's not an excuse to avoid your responsibilities.
There's also the possibility that your current wife is exceptionally understanding and will accept your child, treating them as her own. That would be the best-case scenario for everyone.
In conclusion, the child must be provided for. Your ex-girlfriend has put in three years of effort and now wants to pursue her happiness. If you are truly a man, you should take up the responsibility. As for the future, it will depend on the specific circumstances. It's best to discuss this with your ex-girlfriend, considering your own situation and what's best for the child. You probably won't find a clear answer here.
I hope the child doesn't suffer as a result.
Another option is to get a paternity test.
If you have evidence that the child is yours, both you and your ex-girlfriend have an obligation to care for and educate the child. If your ex-girlfriend doesn't want to raise the child herself and wants to get married, then you should take over the responsibility of raising the child. Child support should be provided until the child reaches adulthood. Unmarried childbirth is a consequence of your choices, and both parties have a responsibility because the child is innocent.
First, consider getting a paternity test. Your ex-girlfriend seems to be quite secretive, and it's important to confirm the child's parentage.
From a legal standpoint, you certainly have an obligation (subject to paternity confirmation).
However, your question suggests that you may not be prepared to be a father. It's possible that your current circumstances do not allow for you to care for the child.
Furthermore, not being informed about the child for several years (if that's the case) means that there may not be a strong emotional connection between you and the child.
From the child's perspective, at three years old, they may have already understood a few things: 1) their mother abandoned them, 2) their father, who they've never met, is not suitable to be their father. These things can cause significant emotional harm to the child.
My advice would be to find a loving and more suitable family to adopt the child if possible, and to maintain no contact to avoid any further complications.
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